You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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