Will you blow on my dice?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You can't special order awesome
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
