im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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