Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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