I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
ok first of all what the fuck
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
