So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
