But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
