Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
