she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
