I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
