I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
