I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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