At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The air taste purple.
Randomize
