I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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