I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
