so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
