You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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