K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
