the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
