it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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