I puked a lego.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
