your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
