So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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