My room smells like vodka and shame
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
