did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
