so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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