i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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