My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
