who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize