sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize