That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Shame - the story of my life.
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