Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
