I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
