We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
