Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
