i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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