Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize