She is in my trunk
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
