the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
