Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
