she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
