its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
