Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
