it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
handjob tips. give me some.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
