p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
