Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
