You smell like a Billy Joel song
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
