dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
