Pappa wants mamma naked
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
