Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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