Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
