just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
