P.S. I can't hear my feet
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
