I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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