don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize