are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
