you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Come share oat with me in your robe
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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