The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
