Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
