nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
