I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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