I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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