You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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