My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
