we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
