Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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