1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
