i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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