North Korea, Best Korea!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
