I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
