You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize