whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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